Thursday, November 17, 2011

Seasonal Affectation Disorder

Away in a Walmart, standin in a line
You should see the jolly elves I’m waitin behind
Blowin borrowed money and cussin at their kids
Oh, what fun. “Let’s git ‘er done!” Let’s don’t and say we did
Brightly colored plastic crap all shiny and new
Jesus. Happy birthday to You

Rockin around the liquor store, God rest those merry gents
Good eggs with bad noggins and uncommon scents
Here we come a wassailin, best get out of the way
The Guy who turned the water into wine was born today
May your days be merry and your red noses blew
Jesus. Happy birthday to You

Ice and snow? On with the show! A plastic reindeer scene
Fall on your knees and bust your Blitzen figurine
Memories of Christmas past hang on the tree and walls
Hark the heirloom angels; hang the family balls
Some doodad that Dad had and a Play-Doh kangaroo
Jesus. Happy birthday to You

Ho-ho-ho-ho, ho-holy cow, ho-holy night
There are so many things our senses to excite
Eleventh hour sale! Ho-hum-pa-rum-pum-pum
Bargains galore! Oh, all ye faithful come
Act deranged and jostle strangers, unto others do
Jesus. Happy birthday to You

Get up at the crack of dawn to watch the kiddies grin
Santa gets the credit while your credit’s gettin thin
What child is this unwrappin all that junk we can’t afford
Then later on that afternoon they’re cranky and bored
The most precious gift of all? We ain’t got a clue
Jesus. Happy birthday to You

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