Friday, November 6, 2015

Reapplying

It might be fun to video job interviews and play them back whenever someone is dissatisfied.

“What am I doing here?!”
We’ll discuss that during your evaluation. Meanwhile, it might help—watch this—to recall how you all but begged us to let you be here.

[Muuuunday moanin…Muuuunday moanin…drag-ass cryin ‘cause it’s Muuuunday moanin]
Come with me to Rwanda. Tell those folks how awful it is to get paid to come into a temperature controlled building, drink coffee, and eat donuts on a Monday. They will surely weep and pray for you. Besides, look here: You said you’d be delighted to work flexible hours—nights, weekends, and holidays if necessary. Monday shouldn’t faze a trooper like you.

“Is it Friday yet?!”
Not quite, but when it is, you’ll have money to blow on your favorite pastimes. Cool deal, ‘eh?

“I have to do everything around here. Even make the coffee!”
Now’s the time to put those team-player people skills you bragged about to good use.

“This sucks!”
Then trot out your problem-solver critical thinking expertise and find a way to make it blow.

“I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
We do: According to you, you’re not the type to give up easily. You’re no quitter. You’ll always find a way. You and your sterling references did tell the truth about that, right? So go get ‘em!

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