Saturday, March 23, 2013

Color My Cow

Oh, you knew I was a farmer when you married me;
You said you liked hard-workin country ways.
You got goose bumps cannin peaches for the County Fair
And orgasmic satisfaction smellin hay.
When the sun came up, the birds would sing your favorite song;
The mornin breeze would whisper your name.
But since you ran off with Buck Wheeler, the John Deere tractor dealer,
Things around here just ain’t been the same.

So, you take this cow and color it brown;
She’s lost her moo; she just mopes around.
Take this pig and color it pink;
It used to be cute, but now it stinks.
The hens won’t lay, and the truck won’t start.
You made the mule cry; you broke my heart.

Our humble barnyard once was such a happy place;
The mules would hum “There’s no Place like Home.”
Now you ought to hear ‘em croon “Love Letters in the Sand,”
And “Am I Blue?” would chill you to the bone.
The beanstalk turned to vicious gossip overnight;
The once well bucket looks a little pale.
The tater crop is russeting below the ground.
Yeah, the dog’s been dirty since you hit the trail.

So, you take this cow and color it brown;
She’s lost her moo; she just mopes around.
Take this pig and color it pink;
It used to be cute, but now it stinks.
The hens won’t lay, and the truck won’t start.
You made the mule cry; you broke my heart.

We made the most of what we had and had a ball;
Lord knows the best things in life are free.
You swore an oath that you could live on love alone;
But “love alone” meant livin without me.
Hand-in-hand, we skipped and flipped and skinny-dipped;
You crusted pies; I busted up the sod.
We took a leak off Lovers’ Leap and took the plunge;
We jumped the broom, but then you hopped the clod.

So, you take this cow and color it brown;
She’s lost her moo; she just mopes around.
Take this pig and color it pink;
It used to be cute, but now it stinks.
The hens won’t lay, and the truck won’t start.
You made the mule cry; you broke my heart.

1 comment:

  1. I just stopped by to congratulate you on your Honorable Mention in last week's Limerick-Off. Great job!
    Limerick of the Week 107

    ReplyDelete